just come out here and I will go home with you...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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