I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
