You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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