Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
