this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
