he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
