just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
