god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
