Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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