he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
