What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
