the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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