hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
