now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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