This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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