TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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