You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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