pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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