I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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