I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
