It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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