I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
