so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
