No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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