I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
