nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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