Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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