3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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