what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
