Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
