I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
there is glitter all over my balls
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