so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize