Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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