im six kinds of drunk right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
