Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i jhust puked up my retainher.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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