Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
