You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
