"it" just moved
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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