Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
