How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
