apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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