afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
