That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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