he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
