That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
