Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
