fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
