I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
