my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
