i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
