What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
