He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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