**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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