That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
