just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
