you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize