i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
