One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
