This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
