Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
